Monday, November 21, 2005

10 Years After

Think about where you were 10 years ago.

Mentally, what kind of place were you in then?

I started contemplating where I'd be now if my life had continued in the same wrong direction it was heading 10 years ago. It's really something to think about.

You get to a point in your life when you're faced with a decision, however buried and unrecognized it might be. You may not consciously realize you're faced with it, but there it is, nonetheless, in front of you, and you're forced to make a decision and to be indecisive no more.

I realize now how deeply thankful I am that I took the path I did, though I don't know how or why I did it. Did I catch a brief glimpse of how my so-called life might be in the years to come?

Possibly, in a dream that I didn't and still don't remember.

Had I stayed on that path, the one that I so painstakingly erected to be my destined future - I'd be a completely different person with a completely different life. Maybe I would no longer have a life, maybe I would've taken it years ago not wanting to sustain anymore of the hell I subjected myself to.

Or maybe I'd be like the walking dead, with my soul dried up and isolated inside, but smiling like everything was OK on the outside...and living my so-called "life".

But I'm not isolated.

My soul is not dried up.

I'm not the walking dead.

"Two roads diverged in a wood and I---I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference." ~Robert Frost

It's made all the fucking difference.

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