Unless a movie really blows me away and I love it, I need to time to think after sitting in a theater for 2 hours. Sometimes, the movie just needs to sink in a little bit before I realize that I actually enjoyed it.
Not this one. I actually tried to give it a little time, thinking maybe I’d like it more given the time to review it in my head … but nope, just wasn’t happening. Waiting outside the theater while my husband used the facilities, I smoked and listened to what people exiting the theater thought.
A couple came out, maybe in their 40’s and the woman said, “I liked it! Really good…” and he nodded and smiled at her.
Two girls came out, in their early 20’s, I’d guess, and one said to the other, “Well, if you didn’t like this, don’t bother watching American Beauty.”
Interesting - though they’re both directed by Sam Mendes, it’s apples and oranges and the only thing they have in common is being in the same basket.
We got in the car and my husband asked what I thought. “Eh…” was my initial response. Then I did what I usually do after a movie, held an opinionated conversation with myself about it. By the time I got home, I could simply say, “I didn’t like it.”
Know this: as far as “Dramas” go, I like to be moved. I like to have my ass dragged into that film and feel something. I want to get inside their head and know why they’re feeling the way they do. I want to give a damn about what happens to them, I want to be forced to care. It doesn’t have to have a happy ending for this to happen. Life isn’t always this way, and I can enjoy a miserable, depressing love story - as long as it touched upon something inside of me.
RR did nothing of the sort for me. I didn’t give a shit what happened to them at the end. I didn’t care how it turned out, whether they worked out their fucked up relationship or not, if they lived or died.
Everyone keeps talking about the “chemistry” between Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet, finally being brought back together after all these years to play Frank and April Wheeler. It just didn’t do it for me. The only chemistry I saw was in the fighting scenes, and I think that’s solely because they’re both incredible actors. They brought it full force for the fights, and it made for some pretty intense scenes. Unfortunately, as soon as the fighting ended and the crappy dialogue began, the magic was over. Their conversations seemed forced, unnatural (like Winslet, in particular, was reading from script), rather than a husband and wife having a conversation. Now, I’m well aware of the idea that this is because they were so unhappy and/or not in love. That‘s good, in theory…but it didn’t work well here. It was just not believable.
You were not made to understand, why Frank and April felt so trapped. Yes, they touched on it during one of their intense fights when she mentioned them having moved there because she was pregnant and then having another child to prove the first was not a “mistake”. But there was obviously a lot more going on in April’s head than we were made to understand. I know sometimes you’re supposed to fill in the blanks on your own, but again, it just did not work here.
There were actually a few good points to this film. One was the comic relief Michael Shannon provided. Some say he wasn’t meant to be funny because he was supposedly mentally ill. I question just how “ill” he was, being he was the only one who truly saw through the Wheelers façade. In the face of lies, the truth can be rather comical, I say.
Another good point: Leonardo DiCaprio was intense. He did his job, as far as I’m concerned. He acted his ass off, which in my opinion, he can’t not do. He’s an actor in the true sense of the word, he adapts to whatever role he plays - and you no longer see him but instead the character alone.
To wrap it all up, I didn’t like it. It was boring, there was no arc - no buildup, no significant climax. Even the climax wasn't climactic. It was fairly predictable. The fact that she was going to kill herself (whether intentional or by “accident”, if we can call it that) was obvious to me when she was standing by the neighbor’s tree, smoking and looking down at her own house. The calm she showed, along with the “nice” breakfast the next morning just secured that theory for me. It was a shallow storyline , at best, which I think is because there was way too much story to cram into a two hour movie.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Pay It Forward
Quoted from the Dean Koontz book, From the Corner of His Eye.
This Momentous Day
"Each smallest act of kindness reverberates across great distances and spans of time, affecting lives unknown to the one whose generous spirit was the source of this good echo, because kindness is passed on and grows each time it's passed, until a simple courtesy becomes an act of selfless courage years later and far away. Likewise, each small meanness, each expression of hatred, each act of evil."
This Momentous Day
"Each smallest act of kindness reverberates across great distances and spans of time, affecting lives unknown to the one whose generous spirit was the source of this good echo, because kindness is passed on and grows each time it's passed, until a simple courtesy becomes an act of selfless courage years later and far away. Likewise, each small meanness, each expression of hatred, each act of evil."
Saturday, December 1, 2007
Sober ~ Kelly Clarkson
And I don’t know
This could break my heart or save me
Nothing’s real
Until you let go completely
So here I go with all my thoughts I’ve been saving
So here I go with all my fears weighing on me
Three months and I’m still sober
Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers
But I know it’s never really over
And I don’t know
I could crash and burn but maybe
At the end of this road I might catch a glimpse of me
So I won’t worry about my timing, I want to get it right
No comparing, second guessing, no not this time
Three months and I’m still breathing
Been a long road since those hands I left my tears in but I know
It’s never really over, no
Wake up
Wake up
Three months and I’m still standing here
Three months and I’m getting better yeah
Three months and I still am
Three months and it’s still harder now
Three months and it’s still harder now
Three months I’ve been living here without you now
Three months yeah, three months
Three months and I’m still breathing
Three months and I’m still breathing
Three months and I still remember it
Three months and I wake up
Three months and I’m still sober
Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers
Monday, November 19, 2007
10 Year High School Reunion
So ... Saturday night was my 10 year high school reunion. It was VERY weird, especially pre-beers. Kinda felt time-warped, being back in that cafeteria as a completely different person, all these years later. Hearing all that music from 1997 was a great touch. And it was funny being a bit tispy there, too. I have to say, I had such a great time!
It was really great hanging with the people I've been in touch with but don't get to chill with very much. Hanging out with my girls totally took me back 10 years, and it was a great feeling. Made me miss these girls even more than I already did. Reminiscing about "the old days" and Characters was a blast. And Emmaus XI, still, after all this time, remains dear to my heart.
It was also really nice seeing people I haven't seen or spoken to in the whole 10 years. Everybody looked great and seemed to be doing wonderfully, which made me happy. (Though I lost track of how many, many people came up to me and asked, "Is it weird seeing (insert x-boyfriends name here)?" or "Did you talk to (...and here)?" ... )
The many drunken bathroom conversations I had were ... interesting, to say the least. I learned some things that I needed to hear from people I never thought I needed to hear them from, even after all this time. Closure is a beautiful thing no matter when or how it comes, as long as it does indeed come. And I'll leave it at that.
And ... being there with my husband ... was amazing. We had the conversation prior to going about how we never, ever would have thought that at this point WE'D be happily married with kids. It's weird to think that 10 years ago, graduating high school, that there was nothing, not even a friendship between him and I ... and here we are, 10 years later, with the amazing thing that we have. Mind blowing. I love him, and I couldn't be happier.
Relationships change, and sometimes you have ones you never saw coming. I'm happy to still call my old friends my friends, and I'm so glad that I saw everyone I did. I wish them all the best, and I look forward to seeing everyone again in 5 years.
*Since this is public info once posted, I needn't name names. Under the "drunken bathroom conversations" topic ... there was one story regarding a certain Sweet 16 that I could've gone without hearing ... that story really didn't need to be told, especially in front of so many other girls in the bathroom. It was a shot below the belt as far as I'm concerned, but whatever. I guess there's always one prick in the bunch.
:)
It was really great hanging with the people I've been in touch with but don't get to chill with very much. Hanging out with my girls totally took me back 10 years, and it was a great feeling. Made me miss these girls even more than I already did. Reminiscing about "the old days" and Characters was a blast. And Emmaus XI, still, after all this time, remains dear to my heart.
It was also really nice seeing people I haven't seen or spoken to in the whole 10 years. Everybody looked great and seemed to be doing wonderfully, which made me happy. (Though I lost track of how many, many people came up to me and asked, "Is it weird seeing (insert x-boyfriends name here)?" or "Did you talk to (...and here)?" ... )
The many drunken bathroom conversations I had were ... interesting, to say the least. I learned some things that I needed to hear from people I never thought I needed to hear them from, even after all this time. Closure is a beautiful thing no matter when or how it comes, as long as it does indeed come. And I'll leave it at that.
And ... being there with my husband ... was amazing. We had the conversation prior to going about how we never, ever would have thought that at this point WE'D be happily married with kids. It's weird to think that 10 years ago, graduating high school, that there was nothing, not even a friendship between him and I ... and here we are, 10 years later, with the amazing thing that we have. Mind blowing. I love him, and I couldn't be happier.
Relationships change, and sometimes you have ones you never saw coming. I'm happy to still call my old friends my friends, and I'm so glad that I saw everyone I did. I wish them all the best, and I look forward to seeing everyone again in 5 years.
*Since this is public info once posted, I needn't name names. Under the "drunken bathroom conversations" topic ... there was one story regarding a certain Sweet 16 that I could've gone without hearing ... that story really didn't need to be told, especially in front of so many other girls in the bathroom. It was a shot below the belt as far as I'm concerned, but whatever. I guess there's always one prick in the bunch.
:)
Monday, October 22, 2007
A Million Little 'Peaces'
A Million Little Pieces
"The Young Man came to the Old Man seeking counsel.
I broke something, Old Man.
How badly is it broken?
It's in a million little pieces.
I'm afraid I can't help you.
Why?
There's nothing you can do.
Why?
It can't be fixed.
Why?
It's broken beyond repair. It's in a million little pieces."
~James Frey
I'm praying for you. I hope you've finally found peace.
RIP Uncle.
Monday, September 24, 2007
Double Chocolate Chocolate Pancakes
So I'm making pancakes yesterday, a new kind, some all natural, Double Chocolate Chocolate or something...
As I'm pouring the first one onto the pan, I hear my almost 7 year old dancing around the living room and singing, "Ohhhh, chocolate pancakes, I'm having chocolate chocolate pancakes pancakes, I love pancakes, oh yeahhhh..." and wraps it up with a sincere and very enthusiastic, "Pancakes ROCK!!!"
I smile to myself, happy that I can make the kid this jubilant about something, ANYTHING ... because Mommy is usually the adversary because, well, just because it's *Mommy* ... and Daddy's usually the ALLY. :: insert eye roll here ::
It's in that unfortunate moment that I realize the consistancy isn't right, but I figure that has to do with the fact that it's all natural or something. I flip it and notice that the "skin" is REALLY tough, like tougher than it's supposed to get.
Long story short, I realize that I completely fucked up the mixture, having mixed in the wrong amount of eggs and milk ... and of course, I have no more Double Chocolate Chocolate pancake mix.
So I do what any normal mom and wife would do ... I call my husband over to come taste it. And he, playing X-box, pretends not to hear me and doesn't come. :: sigh ::
I taste a little piece of it and frankly, it tastes like shit. Now comes the hard part - I have to inform my previously jubilant child that there will be no Double Chocolate Chocolate pancakes for lunch today.
I call her over and show her the mix and explain that I didn't do the math correctly and added the wrong amount of eggs and milk ... and the pancakes are un-eatable.
She took it really well, so I said jokingly, "Well, I can't do *everything* right, ya know!"
And my daughter, not yet 7, standing on a stool beside me, puts her arms around me, rests her head on my chest, looks up and me and says, "You do this right."
I can't help but cry ... tears stream down my face as I hug her back and tell her that that is the sweetest thing she's ever said to me. I thank her and tell her I love her. When she's had enough mush, she smiles and goes inside to where her dad is sitting.
As I wipe my tears and start washing the pan, I hear him laughing hysterically. This child, upon hearing the sniffles, said to her dad, "Oh, great ... Now she's washing the pan with her tears."
:: sigh ::
Gotta love this age!
As I'm pouring the first one onto the pan, I hear my almost 7 year old dancing around the living room and singing, "Ohhhh, chocolate pancakes, I'm having chocolate chocolate pancakes pancakes, I love pancakes, oh yeahhhh..." and wraps it up with a sincere and very enthusiastic, "Pancakes ROCK!!!"
I smile to myself, happy that I can make the kid this jubilant about something, ANYTHING ... because Mommy is usually the adversary because, well, just because it's *Mommy* ... and Daddy's usually the ALLY. :: insert eye roll here ::
It's in that unfortunate moment that I realize the consistancy isn't right, but I figure that has to do with the fact that it's all natural or something. I flip it and notice that the "skin" is REALLY tough, like tougher than it's supposed to get.
Long story short, I realize that I completely fucked up the mixture, having mixed in the wrong amount of eggs and milk ... and of course, I have no more Double Chocolate Chocolate pancake mix.
So I do what any normal mom and wife would do ... I call my husband over to come taste it. And he, playing X-box, pretends not to hear me and doesn't come. :: sigh ::
I taste a little piece of it and frankly, it tastes like shit. Now comes the hard part - I have to inform my previously jubilant child that there will be no Double Chocolate Chocolate pancakes for lunch today.
I call her over and show her the mix and explain that I didn't do the math correctly and added the wrong amount of eggs and milk ... and the pancakes are un-eatable.
She took it really well, so I said jokingly, "Well, I can't do *everything* right, ya know!"
And my daughter, not yet 7, standing on a stool beside me, puts her arms around me, rests her head on my chest, looks up and me and says, "You do this right."
I can't help but cry ... tears stream down my face as I hug her back and tell her that that is the sweetest thing she's ever said to me. I thank her and tell her I love her. When she's had enough mush, she smiles and goes inside to where her dad is sitting.
As I wipe my tears and start washing the pan, I hear him laughing hysterically. This child, upon hearing the sniffles, said to her dad, "Oh, great ... Now she's washing the pan with her tears."
:: sigh ::
Gotta love this age!
Monday, September 10, 2007
Endless
I give myself one last look in the mirror. Did I wear the right thing? Do I look alright? This is a first impression, don't fuck it up, Delilah. I chose a v-neck dark grey shirt and simple black dress pants. I even wore my low heeled boots so that I wouldn't risk tripping, falling, and embarrassing the hell out of myself.
As I head up the block, I see you standing outside the place we planned to meet. All I can think is, calm down, nothing to be nervous about ... don't trip, Delilah, please don't trip ...
You don't see me yet, you're leaning casually on the wall, smoking a cigarette. I get closer, and you turn your head towards me. He's fucking adorable, I whisper out loud to myself. You take a drag as you spot me and smile. My stomach flutters at that smile ...
"Hey there, Delilah," you say as I reach you, and I roll my eyes and smile.
"Hey there, Jimmy," I say. "Good to see you, handsome."
We move in for what becomes an awkward hug, neither of us really knowing how to greet the other. We part quickly and in an attempt to kiss hello on the cheek, both of us end of kissing the air next to the others ear.
I'm visibly nervous, and seeing that, you say, "You look great. Want to get a drink?"
I exhale, not aware that I'd been holding my breath and say, "Yes ... or three."
We walk into the bar, a place I'd never been, and we grab a small table in a dimly lit corner. We order a couple of beers and you smile.
"I guess I shouldn't be surprised to see that you drink beer..." you say, jokingly.
Giggling, I ask, "What, did you really see me as the fruity little drink kinda girl?"
"No, no ... not at all," you answer with a big smile.
Over a few more beers, we make small talk about the place, about our day, and as we're laughing, I realize that I'm feeling much more at ease ... I'm not drunk but relaxed, and it's coming naturally now. I'm more thankful for alcohol than I've ever been before.
At one point, I'm trying to explain and sort of diagram something on the table with my fingers and the salt and peppers shakers, and while I'm in the middle of it, you put your hands on mine. I stop talking to look up at you, and you're smiling. I smile back as my stomach flutters again and I can feel any tension that remains slip out of my hands, as if you were gently guiding it out of my fingertips and into the table, where it belonged.
"Delilah ..."
"Jimmy?"
"I'm really glad we're here ... with you ... together. I'm glad I'm here with you and we're together."
I smile and where I'd normally out of habit cover my smile with my hand, I consciously realize that if I take my hand off the table that you won't be touching me anymore. I decide against this and instead tilt my head down, trying to cover the smile that's already been seen.
"See," you say, "I told you, I'm a bumbling idiot around cute girls."
"Jimmy, there's nothing bumbling about you right now. Do you feel like taking a walk, I'm getting really warm in here and I don't know, I'm just a little ..."
You cut me off, "Yes, that sounds good."
We finish our drinks and leave, and stepping out into the cool autumn air is refreshing. We take a few steps and as we're walking, our hands bump. You take my hand in yours and I smile.
"Feels nice...", I say, and you just nod in agreement.
We talk and laugh ... and I realize how slowly we're walking. Walking through the city at night with you, hand in hand ... is absolutely exhilerating, and I'm loving every second of it.
"Look at how slow we're walking ..." I say.
"I think," you say carefully, "...it's because we don't want this night to end."
"Ya know!" I exclaim. "I was thinking the same thing!"
We laugh and eventually find our way to a stone sitting wall, and I say, "OK, cigarette break?"
We sit down next to each other, each lighting a cigarette, and you scoot over a little closer to me. You reach over and take my hand, resting them on my thigh.
"Don't you be getting any ideas, Jimmy. Remember, I'm saving it for marriage," I say flirtingly.
We laugh and hold each others hand a little tighter. I'm looking up at the buildings across the street when I notice you looking at me. I turn my face towards you and smile.
"Delilah... Your face, the way you look around at everything and take it all in. Delilah ... I think you're beautiful."
I smile and maintain eye contact with you ... "Stoppit, you're making me blush ... I just like to SEE things, ya know? I like to see it all ..."
Your face moves a little closer to mine and I say, "... appreciate it all, ya know ..."
Your face comes closer ... and I remind myself to breathe...
"Live every minute..." I say.
Closer still ... breathe Delilah ...
"Never let a moment ... pass you by..." I whisper.
Your face is almost touching mine now, and I close my eyes.
I feel you kiss me, your lips on mine ... and my body goes wild. I don't remember where I am, who I am ... My mind races and my heart flutters and my stomach flips. I'm experiencing excitement and sedation all at once and I feel as if I could explode or implode or something.
The only thing I'm sure of, as I feel your lips pressed on mine ... is that I don't ever want this kiss to end ... I want it to be Endless.
As I head up the block, I see you standing outside the place we planned to meet. All I can think is, calm down, nothing to be nervous about ... don't trip, Delilah, please don't trip ...
You don't see me yet, you're leaning casually on the wall, smoking a cigarette. I get closer, and you turn your head towards me. He's fucking adorable, I whisper out loud to myself. You take a drag as you spot me and smile. My stomach flutters at that smile ...
"Hey there, Delilah," you say as I reach you, and I roll my eyes and smile.
"Hey there, Jimmy," I say. "Good to see you, handsome."
We move in for what becomes an awkward hug, neither of us really knowing how to greet the other. We part quickly and in an attempt to kiss hello on the cheek, both of us end of kissing the air next to the others ear.
I'm visibly nervous, and seeing that, you say, "You look great. Want to get a drink?"
I exhale, not aware that I'd been holding my breath and say, "Yes ... or three."
We walk into the bar, a place I'd never been, and we grab a small table in a dimly lit corner. We order a couple of beers and you smile.
"I guess I shouldn't be surprised to see that you drink beer..." you say, jokingly.
Giggling, I ask, "What, did you really see me as the fruity little drink kinda girl?"
"No, no ... not at all," you answer with a big smile.
Over a few more beers, we make small talk about the place, about our day, and as we're laughing, I realize that I'm feeling much more at ease ... I'm not drunk but relaxed, and it's coming naturally now. I'm more thankful for alcohol than I've ever been before.
At one point, I'm trying to explain and sort of diagram something on the table with my fingers and the salt and peppers shakers, and while I'm in the middle of it, you put your hands on mine. I stop talking to look up at you, and you're smiling. I smile back as my stomach flutters again and I can feel any tension that remains slip out of my hands, as if you were gently guiding it out of my fingertips and into the table, where it belonged.
"Delilah ..."
"Jimmy?"
"I'm really glad we're here ... with you ... together. I'm glad I'm here with you and we're together."
I smile and where I'd normally out of habit cover my smile with my hand, I consciously realize that if I take my hand off the table that you won't be touching me anymore. I decide against this and instead tilt my head down, trying to cover the smile that's already been seen.
"See," you say, "I told you, I'm a bumbling idiot around cute girls."
"Jimmy, there's nothing bumbling about you right now. Do you feel like taking a walk, I'm getting really warm in here and I don't know, I'm just a little ..."
You cut me off, "Yes, that sounds good."
We finish our drinks and leave, and stepping out into the cool autumn air is refreshing. We take a few steps and as we're walking, our hands bump. You take my hand in yours and I smile.
"Feels nice...", I say, and you just nod in agreement.
We talk and laugh ... and I realize how slowly we're walking. Walking through the city at night with you, hand in hand ... is absolutely exhilerating, and I'm loving every second of it.
"Look at how slow we're walking ..." I say.
"I think," you say carefully, "...it's because we don't want this night to end."
"Ya know!" I exclaim. "I was thinking the same thing!"
We laugh and eventually find our way to a stone sitting wall, and I say, "OK, cigarette break?"
We sit down next to each other, each lighting a cigarette, and you scoot over a little closer to me. You reach over and take my hand, resting them on my thigh.
"Don't you be getting any ideas, Jimmy. Remember, I'm saving it for marriage," I say flirtingly.
We laugh and hold each others hand a little tighter. I'm looking up at the buildings across the street when I notice you looking at me. I turn my face towards you and smile.
"Delilah... Your face, the way you look around at everything and take it all in. Delilah ... I think you're beautiful."
I smile and maintain eye contact with you ... "Stoppit, you're making me blush ... I just like to SEE things, ya know? I like to see it all ..."
Your face moves a little closer to mine and I say, "... appreciate it all, ya know ..."
Your face comes closer ... and I remind myself to breathe...
"Live every minute..." I say.
Closer still ... breathe Delilah ...
"Never let a moment ... pass you by..." I whisper.
Your face is almost touching mine now, and I close my eyes.
I feel you kiss me, your lips on mine ... and my body goes wild. I don't remember where I am, who I am ... My mind races and my heart flutters and my stomach flips. I'm experiencing excitement and sedation all at once and I feel as if I could explode or implode or something.
The only thing I'm sure of, as I feel your lips pressed on mine ... is that I don't ever want this kiss to end ... I want it to be Endless.
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